Caroline Wozniacki, serving aces and stealing hearts
Forward - Rebecca Johnston
As Team Canada Femme Fatales arrive to the final member (which you can see all the ladies here over and over again), this has been one illuminating journey to
objectify showcase the ladies of Team Canada. What better way to end this than with a swift skating, ponytail flying Sudbury Sweetness? A multi-talented athlete at Cornell University, Rebecca Johnston is just another up-and-coming hockey star for Team Canada at the prime age of 20 years old. Not only was Rebecca named to the first team All-Ivy and Ivy-League Rookie of the Year in her first season at Cornell, she was the first Cornell player to be named first team ECAC Hockey and rookie of the year honours. Rebecca’s second year? Oh, just increased her point totals by 13 points and finished second overall in the entire league with 45 points (26 games).
For Rebecca Johnston’s patriotic side, she is already a two-time IIHF silver medalist for Team Canada and two-time U-22 gold medalist. Having recently been selected to her fourth National Women’s Under-22 Team, Rebecca will only add to her 9 goals and 27 points in 18 games so far.
For the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics, Rebecca Johnston chipped in with 6 points, and played more minutes at 74:11 than vaunted Team Canada legends Jennifer Botterill, Gillian Apps, and Gina Kingsbury. See? I told you the gold medal looks good with the ponytail.
With fellow babelicious Tessa Bonhomme (I was this close to making this a Tessa/Rebecca double feature), Rebecca is rocking the company swag almost half-enthused. I don’t blame her really, since that’s one ugly scarf. But why move past her naturally curved eyebrows and silky smooth chestnut hair? If Rebecca was a Mrs. Potato Head, people wouldn’t even bother wasting time with her ears and limbs. And hey there, Rebecca Johnston’s neck. Peeking out for a little fun, I see. Rebecca clearly knows not to cover those pipes and leave us curious. So nice this Rebecca Johnston.
Ah, the fabled forced, often amateur feeling Team Canada photo shoots. But what’s this, Rebecca Johnston? You decide to break out a form fitting black zip-up, prop up your chest, and slightly pop out your butt? All with an awkward prop over your shoulders? Someone’s been watching America’s Top Model. Excellently accentuating her wide array of assets, I can watch Rebecca score wraparound all night long.
Never mind the audacity of some random dude wearing HER gold medal, there is a common theme with most of Rebecca Johnston photos. Rebecca loves to show off her off to the side “Look”. And I don’t blame her. Rebecca absolutely works the camera and exudes a fierce (thanks, Tyra) bout of confidence. Just as she expects to win the puck out of the corner every time, Rebecca expects to win in every picture with just the corners of her eyes. Deadly. Deadly seductive that is, yes? (via loimere’s flickr)
Forward - Marie-Philip Poulin
At 19 years old, Marie-Phillip has already drawn comparisons as the Sidney Crosby of women’s hockey. Already with a litany of awards and recognitions before she even hit Quebec’s legal drinking age, Marie-Phillip has stormed her way into national prominence with her immense high-end skill. So gifted in natural talent, Poulin amassed 22 goals and 21 assists in only 16 games as a 17 year old rookie for the Montreal Stars of the Canadian Women’s Hockey League. Internationally, Marie-Phillip Poulin not only won two silver medals for Team Canada in the IIHF World Women’s U18 Championship, she is currently the all-time leading scorer in U18 history with 31 points in 17 games. Obviously, huge pressure is thrust upon Marie-Phillip’s young shoulders. But her work ethic, positivity, and most of all, her bad-assery array of wrist shots, laser passes, and stick-handling moves automatically grants her Femme Fatale status.
For her 2010 Vancouver Olympics performance, Marie-Phillip did not do much except play an industrious 74:14 minutes of ice time on the fourth line, score the only two goals, including the Game Winning Goal, in the Gold Medal game against arch-rival United States, and make the tournament all-star team.
As her penetrating blue eyes invite me over, Marie-Phillip’s hook, line, and sinker is that sly grin she gives in almost every single photograph. Totally intriguing “Why don’t you stay for my hip checks” look Marie-Phillip has mastered already. Though there is a tomboy facet to her wardrobe, a lady who pulls off the pullover look well is just as loin-warming as high heels. Clearly, you can see that Marie-Phillip is wearing form fitting zip-up shirts and jackets, which is so key. Those sublime feminine touches will get anyone to lay down on the ice for her skillful puck.
Admittedly, I do feel a twinge of guilt and shame for
leering at her sweaty state extolling the virtues of technically a teenager. However, in my defence, just as I’m crazy for intelligent girls, I’m very attracted to Marie-Phillip Poulin’s tantalizing skills. They’re almost ready to fully burst out. Marie-Phillip teased me with a sweet taste in the Gold Medal game, but I want more. So much more. As you can see, my immaturity knows no bounds.
Forward - Gillian Apps
One of the most recognizable and famous players in women’s hockey history, Gillian Apps more than lives up to her surname. Three generations of rich hockey lore follow the Apps name, and Gillian has carved a place amongst the legends by becoming one of the most highly decorated hockey players in her sport. Using her size, speed, and dogged play, Gillian is the definition of power forward in hockey. Showcasing her talents at Dartmouth College for four years, Apps scored 90 goals (5th all-time) and racked up a sexy 281 total PIMs. In her last year at Dartmouth, Apps was the 2007 ECAC Player of the Year, New England Hockey Writers Most Valuable Player, and named to the ECAC First Team All-League. Straight money. Immediately after college, Apps captured a championship with the Brampton Canadettes-Thunder of the Canadian Women’s Hockey League. Straight money.
Four gold medals and three silver medals combined in the Olympics and IIHF World Championships so far. Straight money. Tied for the tournament lead in goals scored with seven, third overall in points with 14, and named to the Tournament All Star team in the 2006 Torino Winter Olympics. Straight money.
Like her previous international competitions, Vancouver 2010 was one where Gillian Apps continued to provide her prolific scoring ways. 3 goals, 7 points, +10, and a robust 72:38 minutes of ice time for that sweet gold medal. Straight money.
Beers, cigars, and a camera. That’s exactly how any glorious day should start and end. What’s that, Gillian? Oh yes, yes, yes, leave the gold medal on.
While there aren’t any photos of Gillian in a long figure forming dress (believe me, I’ve checked), it’s her comfortable smile that brings this outfit together. Lucky people can wear virtually anything if they have a great smile up top. Dark, perfect fit jeans and a light blue top compliments Apps’ blue lagoon eyes. Gillian’s photo shoot for Team Canada was by far the most consistent, too. Just like any other Team Canada athlete, the photo guys made Gillian perform some ridiculous action shot. Gillian held a hockey stick and made a guitar pose while jumping. Again, she looked fine, but really? I guess that’s why I’m not a photographer.
As one of the special guests to promote the past Vancouver 2010 Olympics last year, Gillian braved the harsh February weather in Toronto to show off her “money in the bank” hands. Aside from melting hearts with her champion smile, unless you study this photo for more than 10 minutes or something (ahem), you don’t notice that Gillian has virtually no makeup here. Anyone who can pull off the natural look in subzero temperatures at minimalist Nathan Phillips Square deserves a glove tap. If Gillian Apps ever parks herself in front of my net, I’m not going to fight very hard to move her…
Defence - Catherine Ward
Another member of the fabled McGill University hockey powerhouse, Catherine Ward partnered with current Team Canada teammate and fellow hockey babe Charline Labonte to successfully defend McGill’s CIS national championships in both 2008 and 2009. Considered one of THE rising young stars in ladies hockey, Ward already has a litany of awards and honours to justify such hype. Picking up Rookie of the Year honours from both the CIS and Quebec Student Sports Federation (QSSF) in 2007, Ward is a three time CIS First Team All-Canadian from 2007-2009 and 2009 MVP of the CIS Women’s Championship. Ward also captured a silver medal in the 2009 IIHF World Women’s Championship. As you can plainly see, it is why Catherine Ward joins my ever expanding list of skillful Quebecois brunettes of hotness.
How did Catherine Ward do at the 2010 Olympics? Not only did Ward chip in with four points (two goals), she received the most ice-time amongst all Team Canada skaters with 101:20 golden minutes. As if that was not enough, Ward also racked up the highest +/- total on the team with +15 (Jayna Hefford also achieved a +15). “I played with boys until bantam. Yes, I was better than some of them…” Girl power, indeed.
Unfortunately, Catherine is a fan of the Montreal Canadiens. But it’s amazing how much you can get away with as a cute brunette Quebecker. Here, Catherine shows off her class with a black number and her always adorable smile. I’m not quite sure if the exposed shoulder was part of the dress or if it was an unexpected peek, but either way, I very much appreciate the gesture, Catherine.
Sporting a hipster scarf, not sure about this look from Catherine considering the function. But points to Catherine, since I figure she aimed to at least stand out and outdo her companions. Plus, the scarf somewhat covers her plunging v-neck to still keep un petite mystere. I’ve always said the more a lady covers, the sexier she becomes. I can’t be the only one wondering what kind of sexual tension arises if strippers came out on stage already naked from the start, then gradually putting more clothes on, right? Hmm, maybe it was more a lady covers strategically, the sexier she gets. All I know is that if this was the 1920s, I would be lauded as a visionary, rather than a guy who will never be invited to bachelor parties and strip poker nights.
Defence - Meaghan Mikkelson
Even with the helmet, you can’t contain the eyes. Perfectly lined with mascara, you can’t miss the intensity and brightness that shines through. A player who has flipped from forward to defence in successive World Championships, Meaghan Mikkelson knows a thing or two about multiple positions. With a father who played in the NHL during the 1970s and a younger brother who currently plays in the Anaheim Ducks farm system, the Mikkelson family is full of elite level hockey blood. 2007 Western College Hockey Association Defensive Player of the Year, Meaghan contributed greatly to the Wisconsin defence that allowed a league low 0.94 goals a game that season. Oh, Meaghan also scored 33 points, merely leading all defencemen in the WCHA.
In Vancouver, Meaghan provided steady defensive play accumulating a +11 rating and a much deserved Gold medal.
Not quite sure what the photographer was going for here, since the symbolism of a lone tire in the background is confusing (Does she have good grip? Is she round like a tire? Meaghan treads water well?), but the subtle eyebrow arch is a nice touch, Meaghan. I’ll blame the photographer for not allowing you to give the necessary subtle grin to bring it all together. Love the intensity though.
Let me just say that the entire Team Canada photo session with the women was laughable in its amateurism. On one picture featuring Mikkelson, the Canadian flag was held up by someone’s arm that the camera didn’t bother to cut out. On another, Mikkelson was asked to strain noticeably and wave a massive flag by herself. Needless to say, I felt sorry for her. Yet, those problems sort of disappear as I stare deeply into Meaghan’s inviting and alluring eyes. I’m sorry, what? Yes, pancakes would be nice.