Fallen Leafs
Send me your lovely banter and your acerbic wit: fallen.leafs@ymail.com
Not too long ago, I sighed out, “I don’t want to be social” a little more loudly than I intended. Sounds stupid, since when do you sigh something out quietly? In any case, the person beside me laughed and said I was too funny.
As any normal person would do, I followed along and laughed with her. Though my intentions were less comedic, but rather a lamentation in frustration, her enjoyment from my comment was a freebie. Instead of filing it away, I thought about the reasons why I’ve become less and less bothered by not doing anything with other people.
Inherently, I’m a selfish person. Much too selfish to understand the fundamentals of selflessness and openness that most friendships require on a daily basis. Every year, the less people I actually meet under the pretence of hanging out. Instead of an occupied mind flooded with summer night gatherings, I’m more or less reprimanding everyone else for not making that effort. In actuality, I’m not doing my part to uphold the human mantra of being social animals. I realize this, but I’m not sure if I want to to do anything about it.
Sure, I’m likely coming off as anti-social and egotistical, in addition to being selfish. These aren’t very pleasant odours to emit. But just like Skynet, I’m self-aware. It’s no mystery why I can’t hold very close friendships for a long time. My choice not to reveal my entire soul makes it hard for people to stick around. I’ve accepted it because I know I’m the reason, and yet, I’m not unhappy about it. As the common story goes of a privileged child born in a first-world country, I’m regrettably living at home with my parents. Surprisingly though, they filled that necessary social void in my life right now.
Lame as it sounds, their constant pestering to take me on trips to factory outlets in the States and hold family night dinners has seen me buy less alcohol, and do less cocaine*. I was too busy making excuses and posting less than witty twitter responses to see how thankful my situation turned out to be in the short term. Long term, oh, I have to move out. In the meantime, my new mission is to kill John Connor fully acknowledge being alone probably suits me and thus, strong personal friendships aren’t in the cards for me. I don’t have to like it all the time, but maybe eventually, I won’t have to write why.
*I’ve never injected hard drugs in my life. I just assumed eating leftover chicken soup with my parents made me less inclined to seek out needles.
Anonymous Asks:
fallenleafs Said:
Whoa, wait. Don’t get all weird? That’s a deal-breaker.
And I thought you were my soul mate.
- Dave Cameron: September, April, May, June, July, August, September, April. That’s eight.
- Commenter #1: October not a month any more?
- Commenter #2: Not if you play for Toronto...
DFA 1979 is back. Thank you, memories of Fauxchella stream.
thelifeof-finn Asks:
fallenleafs Said:
If I answer yes, will you teach me how to Dougie?
It’s hard to truly understand what people are suffering from, no matter how catastrophic the tragedy, when living in a country where slushy snow is our natural disaster. Fortunate, blessed, lucky - all appropriate words.
If I’m being honest, the flood and earthquake that recently befell New Orleans and Haiti affected me far more than the Japanese earthquake. There are likely many reasons why (my background is an underlying factor), but the lack of human coverage in the news seems to be affecting my psyche. Inundated with images of chaos, crime, and poverty, the deeply ingrained class divide of the United States and Haiti became the overwhelming symbol. With Japan, there is comparatively less focus on the people, but more on the devastating effects of nature. Definitely, a sensible approach, but it is an approach that lacks an enduring empathetic response.
As a developed nation known for its incredible technology, its strong economy, and its really weird sexual culture, “Nothing is familiar to me” elicited my first true emotion aiming to comprehend what those people in Japan are going through right now. Is that sad? Maybe, but hope and optimism were always difficult sentiments to keep.
Your day doesn’t sound right without a timely Gus Johnson bellow of “I get buckets”.
itjustsherry Asks:
fallenleafs Said:
I would likely choose all my birthday cards that I’ve received from my parents and younger sister. I have kept most of them starting from about age eight onwards.
Not only do we share all sorts of inside jokes that other people would probably find ridiculous (I have a card where my father drew a penis on a cartoon Wolverine of X-Men fame just because he wanted to laugh later), their written words give me much comfort. I’m not sure any photograph can perfectly capture my family like the images found in my head, so reading their feelings all laid out on cardboard-like paper help bridge the memory gap.
Anonymous Asks:
Oh, I'm just kidding. I wouldn't know the answer to that anyways. So...do you like...stuff? Seriously, what's your deal?
fallenleafs Said:
Well, here’s my offer: You read my stuff at no charge, and I’ll throw in poor humour for free. If it’ll help sweeten the pot, I’ll refrain from posting topless pictures of me. Deal?
Anonymous Asks:
Who is your favourite artist and why?
xo
-Ferg
fallenleafs Said:
As the only one in my family devoid of fine motor skills, my critical eye for visual art is lacking. But my favourite artist would probably have to be Roy Lichtenstein. I enjoy the artwork of comic books, and Lichtenstein’s talent for melding contemporary pop art with traditional forms of drawings is appealing to me.
Since I’m also overly analytical, I interpreted “artist” as musician, too. My favourite musician is Tori Amos. Why? Her mouth nearly envelops the entire mic when she sings. In essence, Amos makes out with the mic. Hot.
